Narpal Yadav was born in the village Dahina of Rewari District in Haryana. After early education in the ancestral village, he got his higher education from Punjab University and Rajasthan University from where he obtained post graduate degrees in English and Political Science. He got his M.Ed degree from Annamalai University and P.G.Dip. in the teaching of English from English and Foreign Languages University (EFLU) of Hyderabad.
The author has taught English to senior classes in Kendriya Vidyalayas in different cities of India. He retired as a vice Principal from a Kendriya Vidyalaya in Delhi Cantt.
He has also an experience of presenting English lessons in Doordarshan for school Television, talks for All India Radio and his poems, stories, articles have been published in various magazines and journals. After retirement he has been engaged as Principal/Director in public Schools.
He has also authored the following books:
Ripples in Human Life.
Speak English Right
Khushiyan Aapke Paas Hain, Inhen Mahsoos Karen
(Hindi version of the present book)
Ph.: 9958082343
Happiness Is Around, Get It
It is everyone’s desire to get success and be always happy in life. He wishes to have a lot of money to be happy. But it is not necessary he will find happiness. It is observed that even with all material comforts at his disposal, happiness eludes him. The more he runs after it, the farther it distances from him. Thus real happiness for him is like a mirage. In fact, true happiness cannot be searched outside, it is only in the inner recesses of your heart. Dive into it and you will experience it.
Donna Thomson, an author and activist has aptly said, “True happiness may always elude you, for external things come and go like the tide. The only constant in your life is you. Love you, admire you and be happy to be you.”
If this is the truth about life, then whatever happy moments in the present we are blessed with, why shouldn’t we feel happy living them and spread it around too as it is everyone’s need? In the words of James Oppenhein, “The foolish seeks happiness in the distance, the wise grows it under his feet.”
Happiness is in how you look at life. It is in someone’s smile. Happiness is in pleasant encounter with beauties of life. It is in working with honesty, in helping someone selflessly and mitigating his pain. It is in forgiving everyone for everything. (when we can pray to God to forgive us for some wrong doing, why can’t we forgive fellow human beings for their mistakes?) True happiness is also experienced when you live life as a humble, simple person with good character, expect less of others and much of yourself. To understand essential nature of life, to gain new knowledge in the field of your interest, being aware of human limitation keep you happy. Spiritual practice also gives you happiness. Working hard throughout the day with all sincerity and contributing to your work field is also a source of cheerful heart. Understanding significance of relations and maintaining these is also no less than happiness.
Well, for a while we may agree that external factors bring happiness. Social relations, activities and people give us reasons to be happy. But when instead of feeling connected with the self we remain much more connected with others, it presents a negative aspect also. We have always expectations from others and this is a fact that most expectations are never fulfilled. At the end of the day what falls to our side is only pain and frustration. It means we depend on others for our happiness. This is like handing over our happiness to others. Whereas the ideal situation is when we are able to choose to be happy or unhappy. And this happens when we have least expectations, have control on our thinking as well as on our actions and reactions. When expectations exceed the judicious limit then they are synonymous of greed, craving for more…. more…… and more. There are people who always live in future stifling the happy moments in the present. They have unlimited expectations in homes, office, business and from friends. There may be lots to be happy about, but their face fallen and drowned in despair – truly poor at human interactions and understanding of laws of nature.
Much is guided by our thoughts. It is only quality of thinking that keeps some people cheerful even in adverse situations and some others sad even in favourable situations. Their nature is like that. Those who have Tremendous self-control and remarkable assertion, happiness befriends them. Some time back during the literary festival at Jaipur the spiritual and life coach Deepak Chopra had said that a person should rejoice without any reason. If you are happy only for a reason and when that reason ends, you are bound to be sad.
Contentment and simplicity lend their own joy. Ostentation-free life coupled with daily dealings with honesty save us unnecessary suffering and many a problem. By contentment I don’t mean you shouldn’t have ambition or dreams. Dreams are necessary for progress. Earning money with hard work and honesty is a good thing. It fulfils our needs and with our resources we can help the needy and thereby do noble acts. We can live quality life. However, it should not be an unbridled, wild ambition. It shouldn’t be adulterated with greed, and dreams should not be unrealistic. What is needed is one must not let the ambition run unrestrained. Restraint is an essential in every walk of life. Self control or decorum is also a source of happiness. With this the mind is filled with joy which is reflected on the face. One who is happy within, he needn’t think how much of wealth he has accumulated, what he possesses and how many people are tempted to hurl praise on him. He is only aware that external happiness is momentary and transitory. Yes, ” all seasons are beautiful for a person who carries happiness within”.
When money and position come specially without struggle-and passionate youth is still intact, happiness is sought in the high parties of metropolises. They step into the world of glamour. Swaying amid music and dance when they may stagger or slip, one may not know. These enthusiasts for a while, will surely drown themselves in pleasure and feel happy. The surge is temporary and after this intoxication is over what remains is frustration, emptiness and malice. Malice and ill-will will persist till greed is there. With greed persisting, contentment or peace of mind cannot be thought of. Where there is discontentment or unlimited desires, no trace of happiness can be imagined. Jealousy and strong desire to surpass others have ruined many business establishments. Murders have been committed involving even brothers, father and son. Gunshots were fired and all finished in a moment. Even with so much of wealth and possessions they could not find joy, peace and happiness because they did not see the real beauties of life. Greed rendered them insensitive. An insensitive person remains ignorant of present miracles and magic in life. To be sensitive to everyone in the family, in the work place, to the boss, to colleagues is to realize beauty of life. These small things all of a sudden, unexpectedly in some way bring joy to us.
when we talk of simplicity, our thoughts suddenly go to the village life. The satisfaction people experience there after having simple food is indescribable. In innumerable peasant families there young men and women eat just chapatis with chutni, onion and butter milk, but feel happy moments of wanton ecstasy. Vitality, and brightness on their faces is easily noticeable. They are not bothered whether vitamins, protein, iron or necessary minerals are in their food or not. They have nothing to do with health experts or a balanced diet. Still these young men are well-built and physically strong. However hard they work, however long walks on foot, they never feel tired. Reason? Contented with meagre sources, limited desires and simplicity. Thus, they enjoy mental health. On the contrary, Children in big cities are so stressed that some of them are not aware when they became young and when their youth was over.
I have spent the first 27 years of my life in a village and observed this around, in neighbourhood and among friends. After that I had an experience of living in a metropolis. Therefore, the comparative study is not difficult for me. Now one can comment what is worthy about life in a village? Limited thinking, low standard and no progress. This argument doesn’t hold good. Countless people having been educated in the village background have reached the top positions. After success, living in cities they preserved that simplicity and ease, and balanced their life style, whether it is food, living standards or their thinking. Sharp minds and talents don’t need special environment. They bloom like lotus in the mud.
I remember those days when I was a student of my village school. One of my class fellows, son of a small farmer who tilled our land for fifty percent of the produce from crops, would help his old father in ploughing, and other agriculture related work. Despite his work in fields, he would always stand first in each class. In the tenth class examination he showed excellent result and was placed in the university merit list. (That was the last year for Punjab University to conduct 10th class examination before the Haryana Board was put in place in 1968.) Everyone felt proud of him. Later, having finished his science education from a college he got a central government job with an officer rank.
I don’t deny that environment does contribute significantly in shaping a personality. But it is also true with numerous examples available, that even in adverse circumstances how a person has refined himself, excelled, developed and lived his dreams by virtue of his hard work, discipline, self-confidence, right attitude and valuing time. The happiness he experiences after success in these tests and touchstones, is unique. They have chosen happiness. We all can do this.
This is also true that destiny also plays a role in our existence. Divine intervention is undoubtedly there in our affairs. We have no control over what happens to us. But how to cope with it is perfectly in our hands. Our happiness will depend on our reaction and attitude to people and situations. To encounter opposites in life situations is the law of nature. Therefore, hope and despair are part of life. One who accepts this and has faith in the supreme power never gets perturbed during sorrow or disappointment. Those understanding a bit of philosophy about life, don’t focus on what they couldn’t get in life but feel happy thinking of what they have been blessed with. Someone has well pointed out, “Everyone has been denied a few things, but all of us have been blessed with millions of gifts.”
This is a tragedy of human nature that one is often sad thinking about his deficiencies instead of thinking about gifts that nature has bestowed on him. Not one or two but numerous and which others may not have. Healthy well-built and attractive body, sense of discriminating good from bad, good and well-bred wife, good relatives, blessings of parents for a long time, respect from younger and love from the elder members in the family, treasure in sincere friends, strength of brothers and sisters, cries of joy of tiny tots in homes, dignified employment and inborn talents to refine oneself. What are these if not sources of happiness? To be sad over lacking one or two things and cursing yourself is only stupidity and ignorance. A person is often unaware of his potentials. Neither does he try to know them and those who spot them do miracles. Even differently abled then work wonders. Helen Keller was blind but successfully got her education, earned name and fame as a public figure in America and was a social activist of a high ranking. Who doesn’t know the name of Thomas Alva Edison? He was stone-deaf. Physically short statured Napoleon attained incomparable power. These super achievers identified their hidden talents, worked harder and having earned fame they achieved happiness. Pages of history are filled with such excellent dignitories. With humble beginning they struggled to top positions. Names of APJ Abdul Kalam and Narender Modi can also be cited in this regard.
It is natural to face disappointment some where sometimes as I stated earlier that here everything is cyclical. Have courage to laugh even in disappointment. With faith in your inner strength and stamina keep busy and continue marching ahead. Nothing is permanent in life, not even your troubles. You never know when and how quickly time changes. Keeping busy and always moving forward is the secret of happiness. Without being tied with advanced ageing limitations one should remain active till the last moment. Learning now and then something new, remain a student and feel young. At least read something new and take to writing. Develop some hobby. Your attitude will change. New scopes and dimensions in thinking will be developed. Self-confidence will be raised. These, no doubt, add to joys. We should always maintain childlike curiosity and youth like zeal and passion. There is no end to the sense of achievement and joys.
97 years old French-Inidian and the oldest yoga teacher, Tao Porchan Lynch who lives in America still teaches yoga and is active in many activities. She says, “All sorts of things make me happy… seeing the birds fly or animals around me. Learn to see the wonders of nature and know that the wonder of nature lies within you too. Be constantly on the move.”
The biggest secret of happiness is in giving blessings to others and praying for them both friends and enemies. Having best wishes for everyone gives quiet and rest to your mind and a surge of happiness passes through your being. These small things will keep your inner heart cheerful. Happiness is around. Get it.
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